stuck in a mirror

I wonder if there are any Sublime fans literate (not to mention insanely dedicated) enough to write Brad Nowell fan fiction. Possible topics: Bradley is elected president, Bradley leads Sublime to create album after album of awesome chill music and wins like 100 Grammys, Bradley is my best friend and smokes weed with me every day, etc.

It just goes to show that you can take the hippie out of the outdoor music festival, but you can’t take the outdoor music festival out of the hippie.

Hey, dudes wear girls’ pants all the time… Kaleb is just taking it one step further by wearing a top purchased in the women’s section.

This past weekend at the bar I work at, instead of writing a numerical figure commonly associated with the blank spot labelled “Tip”, this one guy decided to draw a nice, fat penis. Perhaps he was confused as to what to put there so he drew the only tip he could think of, his dick tip. Or maybe this was his clever visual metaphor demonstrating that he was “shafting” me on the tip. Either way, I chuckled a little bit contemplating all the possible connotations of this crudely drawn cock, so I guess that’s kind of a tip?

Before now, “just stick it in your backpack” was never a viable option for discreetly transporting a dead body (except in the morbid case of infanticide). Thanks Jansport!!!!!!!

You know when you rode your bike as a kid, and you made motorcycle noises, pretending you were going super fast? Well the fact that Nate is doing that right here should let you know about how “fast” this thing goes. “RRRRrrrrrrrr RRRRrrrrrrrrrr……”

Gently caressing the supple bottom of an airborne skater boy is a very advanced pederast maneuver.

Bust out the adult diapers and reserve a room at the nearest “retirement community”, cause when you cook a homestyle meal like this for… uhhh…. what’s his name, you can’t help but feel like someone’s grandma… Wait where am I?

Hey gravity! Go suck a big fucking dick, ok?